Part 3: The Photo

Okay, let's be honest. We're all human. I would like to say that I read the profile and then, if I remember, I take a quick look at the photos but that they are not important. But... they are. Actually, I have reached out and responded to several guys who did not look awesome in their photos. I mean, I could be attracted to a great guy with whom I have a lot in common who was, well, unattractive. (Right?) Or maybe the photo does not do them justice. But truthfully, the photo carries a lot of weight.

So, now that I've confessed and that's out of the way, let's talk about the photos. In full recognition of what I have stated above, the photos are right at the top of the profile. You choose one to be displayed on the profile page and then can post others to be viewed as well. For my profile picture, I chose a nice shot of me with a big smile that I had taken professionally last year. I also added my 'corporate shot', a picture of me in Asia with some shrimp in hand (showing my 'fun side') and one of me any the boys in Chelsea at a soccer game. I guess the message behind the pictures is “I travel, my kids are important to me (and they are darn good looking), I like soccer and having fun, I HAVE a corporate shot and I smile.”

Entering the world of on line dating is interesting enough but one has to wonder about some of the pictures posted. I mean, what are these guys thinking???...

It goes without saying that someone who does NOT post a photo is probably suspect. Enough said. And yes, there are some.

There are some photo no-no's that I think would be obvious to most people. First, the fish shot. There are so many pictures of guys holding fish or, my favorite, the guy with a DEAD, BLEEDING fish. I also question anyone who is obviously taking their own picture. Don't they know ANYONE who could take a picture of them? I've seen many where the guy is obviously holding the camera out in front of him and the resulting photo has that sort of distorted look. Or my favorite, the guy taking a picture of himself in the mirror. So, he's standing there trying to look very cool BUT he's holding the camera. And since he couldn't decide, he posted 2 like that. And that's all. BUZZZZZZZZ!

There are a few categories that are personal hot buttons for me. So many of these guys have chosen a picture of themselves with their dog(s) as their PRIMARY photo. I mean, I can see having a picture with the dog(s) in there somewhere. But as the first thing you see? THIS is what you want me to know about you? One such photo was accompanied by this list of the things he was most passionate about “My family, my friends and my two Dobermans”. Not a match for me. There is NO mention of my cats anywhere in my profile. That probably wouldn't be a good idea, huh.

Another turn off for me is the photo of the guy with a mysterious 'hot' woman. No caption, just him with his arm around a fabulous, gorgeous woman. It just makes you wonder. I also find it odd that so many of these guys have pictures of themselves with famous people. Like that's so incredibly impressive. “Here I am with Kobe!” And he's standing there, looking like the cat that ate the canary, obviously just SO excited. Goofy. One guy actually posted a picture of himself as a 5 year old, standing there with Walt Disney. WOW. This must have been the highlight of his life. ARGH. (BUZZZZZZZZZZZ!)

There are also cases where the photo sort of 'tells it all'. Like the guy who had several pictures of himself next to his PT Cruiser with wood paneling. Someone once told me that you either love those cars or you hate them. Guess which side of that I'm on! Or the guy who's profile photo shows him donning a cute little train engineer cap standing next to an old time railroad car with the caption, “Fullerton Railroad Days 2006”. (I'm not making this up. I couldn't make this up.)

My favorite, though, has to be the men trying to show off their youthful bodies. There are various shots of shirtless guys. Often, they are doing macho, sweaty things like holding shovels or using saws. One guy actually had a picture of himself in one of those 'wife beater' t-shirts, holding a beer. I really thought maybe it was a joke – but I didn't take my chances. And my top pick was the guy sitting in a big chair with nothing but boxers on, legs spread apart slightly. Nothing showing but ARE YOU KIDDING? Amazing.

After looking at so many, I find that the photos really tell you a lot about the person and what they want you to know about them. Their interests, how they dress, where they vacation, whether they have kids... It's not so much about how they look after all. So, I absolve myself. But I do look at the pictures first. :-)

Next installment, The dreaded “Match Close” message.